amongthethorns | |❧Inbox☙|

You've reached Alan Humphries, please be so kind as to leave a message and I will respond as soon as I am able.

Humphries, I wish to speak with you about something when you have a free moment.

Absolutely, Senior Spears. I don't have anything pressing going on so I have plenty of time. What do you need to speak with me about?

It is about Sutcliffe. [ he Pauses because he's actually not quite sure how to phrase what his concern is. ] Things have been...odd between us.

What did she do now? [He knows Grell and she's always getting into trouble.] Are you fighting with her again? Odd in what way?

Actually, it is the complete opposite. We seem to be getting along better than usual.

And this is a cause for concern? I can see why that alarms you a little but you've known each other for sometime. It's only natural that familiarity would draw you closer.

I suppose so. I had just never envisioned myself opening up to him. Or that he could restrain himself from acting out after what he learned.

Sometimes... unexpected things happen. That doesn't mean they're bad. Sometimes they can be amazing.

Perhaps it is a good thing. Honestly, it is not as though I enjoy being on bad terms with him.

I feel that it is. Just take things slow and take small baby steps. I believe this would be good for both of you.

He just needs to keep himself from reading to much into all of this...

[ Part of their conversation did involve Grell fully admitting her feelings and then claiming she didn't expect any from William in return. She seemed to even feel uncomfortable when he merely apologized to her about something. ]

Though, perhaps I don't need to worry about that as much as I originally thought.

I can't say I don't agree with that. But... We all know she cares for you. Deeply. I wouldn't expect that to go away. It will take a good deal of her will power to respect your wishes. So perhaps be a bit more gentle with her?

[So says the voice of experience. He just wants this to go well for them both and not have to choose a side or see his family tear itself apart.]

I wouldn't say not to worry. I suggest taking things as they come. The unexpected has happened before. It may again.

I have been extremely lenient with him, lately. He seems to be understanding that as long as he doesn't force himself on me, I will tolerate some amount of contact between us.

[ perhaps William is taking comfort in that brief contact, as well. ]

That's good. That's very good.

[That might make him happy and he does understand.]

Just try not to be too harsh if she does forget herself. It's clear she's making an effort for you. Which I think says a good deal of how important you are to her.

I hadn't thought of it that way. [ why You gotta go opening his eyes to things, Alan? ]

If it continues this way between us, I won't complain. It is odd but somewhat of a relief at the same time.

I had a feeling you hadn't which is why I felt the need to point it out.

And if things progress? [Because he knows about William, his wife his daughter. They had spoken of such things briefly once when Alan had first been diagnosed with the Thorns and he'd broken down in front of William spilling out every hurt from when he'd been human why he had done what he had to make him a reaper. And William had briefly and vaguely told him of his own losses.]

With all due respect, Senior Spears, I think... both of you deserve to have a connection, someone to care for you that you're close to and I think... should you feel the desire to test deeper waters you should be open to it. So don't lock the doors you've shut.

There are things I need to come to terms with and accept before I can even contemplate opening that part of myself up again.

[ Which he'd explained to Grell. And the fact that she understood and accepted that may have been a huge help in this new turn in their friendship. ]

I understand that I'm just saying -

[He's been tired lately so tired and figuring out how to word it is tricky.]

Be willing to do that when/if the time ever comes. Second chances.. or even first chances, don't come everyday, Sir.

Hm. [ That last comment could apply to so many things in all of their lives and afterlives. ]

I believe that is something we all need to keep in mind. But yes, I understand.

[He knows William doesn't mean for it to but that stings some place deep it hurts.]

Yes, but not all of us are as woefully stubborn as you are and not all of us have the same advantage you do.

[The risk is too much, this is one chance he isn't willing to take.]

I assume it's safe to take it as you know Eric is here.

I am hardly being stubborn, right now.

[ William, you're not helping your own argument. ]

Anyway, yes I spoke with Slingby briefly. [ He's not one to console but, he knows this has to be hard for Alan. ] A shinki, it seems.

Oh, of course not, Sir. How silly of me.

I know. Believe me. We had a conversation. I know and I'm not coping very well. Ronald said he would approach Eric's god for me.

And has Knox done so yet? I can speak with them too, if you'd like.

I know you were hoping he wouldn't arrive here. Perhaps it is better that he has no memories. He seems to have clung to you, regardless.

Not to my knowledge. If you would like, Sir, I certainly wouldn't stop you. Eric's God seems to be acquainted with my Shinki. I believe Castiel said that his name is Dean Winchester. I'll ask for his god name should you need that as well.

It's good for him, I suppose but it's hell for me. Clung isn't quite the word I would use.

What am I supposed to do about this..

That would be helpful information. I would like to speak with him, as well. He should be aware of our relations to each other.

[ Advice is certainly not William's forte. But Alan has helped him, so he gives it his best shot. ]

From the way I can see it, you have the choice of trying to restore your friendship to what it was, or cutting all ties. Honestly, I cannot see you doing the later. Though, perhaps bringing up your illness wouldn't be wise until you are comfortable doing so. It will keep him from making rash decisions.

I think so too. I just.. I'm not sure I trust myself around him so I'll leave it to you three. I believe he's taken on the role of Dionysus if that is helpful.

[Alan will happily take what he can get good or bad.]

I really don't think I can just walk away but I don't think I can restore it to where it was before either. Our relationship was complicated to say the least. [He'd been in love with Eric for years after all. Being in love with him now was too painful.] I won't bring it up to him at all. I don't want to risk a repeat of before.

Quite helpful. I will make it a point to speak with him.

I think complicated applies to most things in our lives now. You have the fact that his memories are gone on your side. It should allow you to take this on at a pace that is more comfortable for you.

Actually, this only complicates things further but I'll manage. I always have, I always will.

[He's made of stronger stuff after all.]

I also have the fact that his memories are gone against me, too. I'll have to be much more careful about what I say around him.

[He makes no comment about things going at a pace that's comfortable for him. He doesn't know what comfortable is. Praise that blight doesn't transfer from God to Shinki via guilt or Castiel would be in agony.]

That's true.

Edited Date: 2017-12-28 10:16 pm (UTC)

We all need to be careful of that. I would rather not deal with one of my subordinates becoming an ayakashi.

[ As indifferent as he seemed to be after Alan and Eric both passed on, it was just as hard on him as it was the others. But, emotions aren't meant for the workplace, after all, so that fact was kept mainly to himself. ]

I'll do my best to keep that from happening on my end. I'm sure we'll all do our best.

[As much as Alan respected William there were somethings he couldn't explain or tell his senior. It wasn't anything against him in the least.]