And this is a cause for concern? I can see why that alarms you a little but you've known each other for sometime. It's only natural that familiarity would draw you closer.
He just needs to keep himself from reading to much into all of this...
[ Part of their conversation did involve Grell fully admitting her feelings and then claiming she didn't expect any from William in return. She seemed to even feel uncomfortable when he merely apologized to her about something. ]
Though, perhaps I don't need to worry about that as much as I originally thought.
I can't say I don't agree with that. But... We all know she cares for you. Deeply. I wouldn't expect that to go away. It will take a good deal of her will power to respect your wishes. So perhaps be a bit more gentle with her?
[So says the voice of experience. He just wants this to go well for them both and not have to choose a side or see his family tear itself apart.]
I wouldn't say not to worry. I suggest taking things as they come. The unexpected has happened before. It may again.
I have been extremely lenient with him, lately. He seems to be understanding that as long as he doesn't force himself on me, I will tolerate some amount of contact between us.
[ perhaps William is taking comfort in that brief contact, as well. ]
[That might make him happy and he does understand.]
Just try not to be too harsh if she does forget herself. It's clear she's making an effort for you. Which I think says a good deal of how important you are to her.
I had a feeling you hadn't which is why I felt the need to point it out.
And if things progress? [Because he knows about William, his wife his daughter. They had spoken of such things briefly once when Alan had first been diagnosed with the Thorns and he'd broken down in front of William spilling out every hurt from when he'd been human why he had done what he had to make him a reaper. And William had briefly and vaguely told him of his own losses.]
With all due respect, Senior Spears, I think... both of you deserve to have a connection, someone to care for you that you're close to and I think... should you feel the desire to test deeper waters you should be open to it. So don't lock the doors you've shut.
Not to my knowledge. If you would like, Sir, I certainly wouldn't stop you. Eric's God seems to be acquainted with my Shinki. I believe Castiel said that his name is Dean Winchester. I'll ask for his god name should you need that as well.
It's good for him, I suppose but it's hell for me. Clung isn't quite the word I would use.
That would be helpful information. I would like to speak with him, as well. He should be aware of our relations to each other.
[ Advice is certainly not William's forte. But Alan has helped him, so he gives it his best shot. ]
From the way I can see it, you have the choice of trying to restore your friendship to what it was, or cutting all ties. Honestly, I cannot see you doing the later. Though, perhaps bringing up your illness wouldn't be wise until you are comfortable doing so. It will keep him from making rash decisions.
I think so too. I just.. I'm not sure I trust myself around him so I'll leave it to you three. I believe he's taken on the role of Dionysus if that is helpful.
[Alan will happily take what he can get good or bad.]
I really don't think I can just walk away but I don't think I can restore it to where it was before either. Our relationship was complicated to say the least. [He'd been in love with Eric for years after all. Being in love with him now was too painful.] I won't bring it up to him at all. I don't want to risk a repeat of before.
Quite helpful. I will make it a point to speak with him.
I think complicated applies to most things in our lives now. You have the fact that his memories are gone on your side. It should allow you to take this on at a pace that is more comfortable for you.
Actually, this only complicates things further but I'll manage. I always have, I always will.
[He's made of stronger stuff after all.]
I also have the fact that his memories are gone against me, too. I'll have to be much more careful about what I say around him.
[He makes no comment about things going at a pace that's comfortable for him. He doesn't know what comfortable is. Praise that blight doesn't transfer from God to Shinki via guilt or Castiel would be in agony.]
We all need to be careful of that. I would rather not deal with one of my subordinates becoming an ayakashi.
[ As indifferent as he seemed to be after Alan and Eric both passed on, it was just as hard on him as it was the others. But, emotions aren't meant for the workplace, after all, so that fact was kept mainly to himself. ]
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[ Part of their conversation did involve Grell fully admitting her feelings and then claiming she didn't expect any from William in return. She seemed to even feel uncomfortable when he merely apologized to her about something. ]
Though, perhaps I don't need to worry about that as much as I originally thought.
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[So says the voice of experience. He just wants this to go well for them both and not have to choose a side or see his family tear itself apart.]
I wouldn't say not to worry. I suggest taking things as they come. The unexpected has happened before. It may again.
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[ perhaps William is taking comfort in that brief contact, as well. ]
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[That might make him happy and he does understand.]
Just try not to be too harsh if she does forget herself. It's clear she's making an effort for you. Which I think says a good deal of how important you are to her.
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If it continues this way between us, I won't complain. It is odd but somewhat of a relief at the same time.
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And if things progress? [Because he knows about William, his wife his daughter. They had spoken of such things briefly once when Alan had first been diagnosed with the Thorns and he'd broken down in front of William spilling out every hurt from when he'd been human why he had done what he had to make him a reaper. And William had briefly and vaguely told him of his own losses.]
With all due respect, Senior Spears, I think... both of you deserve to have a connection, someone to care for you that you're close to and I think... should you feel the desire to test deeper waters you should be open to it. So don't lock the doors you've shut.
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[ Which he'd explained to Grell. And the fact that she understood and accepted that may have been a huge help in this new turn in their friendship. ]
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[He's been tired lately so tired and figuring out how to word it is tricky.]
Be willing to do that when/if the time ever comes. Second chances.. or even first chances, don't come everyday, Sir.
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I believe that is something we all need to keep in mind. But yes, I understand.
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Yes, but not all of us are as woefully stubborn as you are and not all of us have the same advantage you do.
[The risk is too much, this is one chance he isn't willing to take.]
I assume it's safe to take it as you know Eric is here.
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[ William, you're not helping your own argument. ]
Anyway, yes I spoke with Slingby briefly. [ He's not one to console but, he knows this has to be hard for Alan. ] A shinki, it seems.
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I know. Believe me. We had a conversation. I know and I'm not coping very well. Ronald said he would approach Eric's god for me.
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I know you were hoping he wouldn't arrive here. Perhaps it is better that he has no memories. He seems to have clung to you, regardless.
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It's good for him, I suppose but it's hell for me. Clung isn't quite the word I would use.
What am I supposed to do about this..
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[ Advice is certainly not William's forte. But Alan has helped him, so he gives it his best shot. ]
From the way I can see it, you have the choice of trying to restore your friendship to what it was, or cutting all ties. Honestly, I cannot see you doing the later. Though, perhaps bringing up your illness wouldn't be wise until you are comfortable doing so. It will keep him from making rash decisions.
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[Alan will happily take what he can get good or bad.]
I really don't think I can just walk away but I don't think I can restore it to where it was before either. Our relationship was complicated to say the least. [He'd been in love with Eric for years after all. Being in love with him now was too painful.] I won't bring it up to him at all. I don't want to risk a repeat of before.
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I think complicated applies to most things in our lives now. You have the fact that his memories are gone on your side. It should allow you to take this on at a pace that is more comfortable for you.
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[He's made of stronger stuff after all.]
I also have the fact that his memories are gone against me, too. I'll have to be much more careful about what I say around him.
[He makes no comment about things going at a pace that's comfortable for him. He doesn't know what comfortable is. Praise that blight doesn't transfer from God to Shinki via guilt or Castiel would be in agony.]
That's true.
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[ As indifferent as he seemed to be after Alan and Eric both passed on, it was just as hard on him as it was the others. But, emotions aren't meant for the workplace, after all, so that fact was kept mainly to himself. ]
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[As much as Alan respected William there were somethings he couldn't explain or tell his senior. It wasn't anything against him in the least.]